As the meal winds down: what would you order next time? What would you do differently. Arrive earlier, sit outside, start with dessert? Who would you bring and why? What would you tell them about this place before they arrived? The forward-looking framing gives children real agency over an imaginary return visit, which is more engaging than reviewing the current meal. Works at any point after the child has eaten. Especially once they're waiting for the adults to finish.
How to do it
- 1Ask: 'If we came back here, what would you order?'
- 2Build it out: what would you do differently? Arrive earlier, sit outside, start with dessert?
- 3Who would you bring, and what would you tell them about this place before they arrived?
- 4Go around the table. Everyone answers. Adults included.
Variations
- If nothing comes to mind: you answer first with your own next-time order, then circle back to them.
- How it ends: winds down naturally as the check arrives — the last answer given wins the round.
💡 Parent tip
Ask 'who would you bring?' specifically. The answer is often revealing. A child who wants to bring their best friend learned something different from this meal than one who wants to bring grandma.
What your child develops
- Future-self planning — imagining what you'd do next time encodes this experience as something worth learning from
- Social recommendation — 'what would you tell them?' teaches the child to synthesize an experience into communicable advice
- Preference reflection — what they'd change reveals what they valued and what they found wanting
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